“You want to do something really fun with us, Mom!?”
I want to say yes but every ounce of my body screams no. This is parenting with PMDD. The ugly side of it, anyway.
The side that I wish would just go away.
I want, so desperately, to be the mom they probably wish they had.
“It’s okay, Mom. Maybe later you’ll want to have fun with us.”
I never wanted to be the parent whose idea of playing with her kids was laying in bed watching Moana for the fifteenth time.
We’re an active family! We love the outdoors. We should be doing something, anything, but this.
But, today, this is all I can offer.
It’s easy to feel depressed over my reality. If only every day could be a good day.
When my bad days rear their ugly heads, I try to remind myself I’m doing the best I can.
I open my Bible and turn to one of the quotes from Scripture that helps me keep going.
And I breathe.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on Earth you will have many trials and sorrows, but take heart because I have overcome the world. – John 16:33
Jesus offers this comfort to us when we are in the midst of trials and sufferings. When we’re parenting with PMDD and just want to be the parents our children probably wish they had. We must take heart… He knows our trials and sufferings and tells us they will be part of this world. But! He has overcome this world and we can find our peace in Him through the trials.
I, the Lord, will watch over it, watering it carefully. Day and night I will watch so no one can harm it. – Isaiah 27:3
When we wish we were a different kind of parent, remember these aren’t our children, but God’s. He is the ultimate Provider. Where we fail, He is there, filling holes we couldn’t have filled on our own. He knows the desire of our hearts, and He also knows the pain we are experiencing. Feel His peace during the not-so-great moments of parenting with PMDD. Rest today, knowing that He is filling in the places where we feel like we are failing.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am parenting with PMDD. PMDD – this is my weakness. And yet, I can speak about it and share my pain with others because I know that in my PMDD, He is working through me. He is the gentle word to my children when I want to scream. He is the strength to play Go Fish when I’d rather take another nap. He is the house cleaner, meal provider, book reader, and hope giver when I don’t think I can make it through one more minute of the day. Because He is my strength, I am glad to boast about my weakness.
This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
God is in the middle of parenting with PMDD. He’s right here with us, every single step of the way. He is holding us while we hold our children. He is nurturing us when we’re nurturing them. So, don’t be discouraged. You are not failing and you are not alone! He is with us wherever we go.
Maybe, some days, you aren’t the parent your kids wish they had. Truth is, no one is! We aren’t perfect and couldn’t be if we tried.
So, whether you’re parenting with PMDD, or you are in a season of depression, anxiety, frustration, or some other trial, know He is with you.
And you are doing the best you can.
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. – 1 Peter 1:6