For the past few years, we’ve struggled to keep our marriage healthy.
My husband works for a prominent race team in NASCAR and travels to many of the races each season. Most months, he’s out of town every other week from Thursday-Sunday.
Through the first few years of his traveling, he often felt forgotten and unappreciated, and I felt unloved and unimportant, while he was out of town.
This year, though, we committed to nurturing our marriage first. Our main focus has been to keep our marriage healthy.
And friend, I can honestly say we are thriving!
I want to share four simple things that we do to keep our marriage healthy while he’s out of town.
We talk as soon as we’re up for the day.
When my husband is in town, we always start our day by talking or texting with each other. He is out the door by 4 AM, but I look forward to waking up to his phone call or text message around 6. When he’s out of town, it’s even more important that we start our day by talking to each other. Depending on where he is and the weekend’s schedule, it’s not always possible to have a long conversation. However, we’ve found that just a quick “Good morning, I love you and miss you so much” goes a really long way!
We Facetime as often as we can.
Working at a race track doesn’t always provide the ideal conditions for a Facetime conversation. It’s usually loud and super busy. However, when my husband is able to find a few minutes of quiet downtime, he makes it a priority to Facetime me, even if it’s only for a few seconds. We have found that Facetiming each other helps us feel much more connected than texting or talking on the phone. I enjoy seeing his facial expressions, commenting on his surroundings (he travels to some beautiful places), and feeling like I’m a part of his out-of-town life. He has shared that Facetiming helps him feel more connected to me, our children, and life back home. So, we take every chance we get to utilize Facetime.
We send pictures periodically throughout the day.
My husband and I have both been victims of the “out of sight, out of mind” mindset, and when we’re in different towns, it’s super easy to feel disconnected. When we were on social media, my husband would often comment that he only knew what the kids and I were up to all day by checking Facebook. He asked that I start sending him pictures of the kids when we do something exciting. I took this a step further and also started sending pictures of the kids when they’re doing something frustrating… you know, so he can share in my distress. 🙂 I’ve found that I really look forward to seeing pictures of where he is and the cool or frustrating things he’s experiencing, too. Pictures help both of us feel more connected, which is important for our marriage.
We pray together or for each other every night.
One of the most important things we do for the health of our marriage while my husband is out of town is pray! We pray together on Facetime or a phone call as often as we can, but when we can’t, we remind each other that we’re praying for the other person. Sometimes we use our copies of The Power of a Praying Husband/Wife to pray over general needs, but usually we just pray for the specific things weighing on us that weekend. To be totally honest, this was kind of awkward and uncomfortable at first, but it has truly been such a blessing for our marriage!
So there they are, 4 simple ways we keep our marriage healthy while my husband’s out of town. And here’s the really cool part – doing each of these things sometimes only totals up to 5 minutes of our day! We have found that quality is even more important than quantity & our marriage is thriving because of it.