Every month, the uninvited voice of PMDD finds its way back in. Whispering, then yelling, the lies it wants me to believe.
You’re a burden.
And every month, I count the days. Track them. Knowing that this unwanted guest has an expiration date.
I eat healthy. Stretch. Lift heavy. Drink my weight in water.
Essential oils. Detox baths. Meditation.
I clear my calendar. Simplify. Be intentional with my “yes.”
But nothing keeps the PMDD away.
Every month the same thing.
Every month the same pain.
Every month the same internal battle. The same self pep-talk.
You can do this.
You will overcome this.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength. Trust that He will carry you through the crashing waves.
And every month, I cling to the same hope.
You will persevere through this.
You will be stronger because of this.
Next month, you will withstand the waves with a little more confidence.
Will I? Will I really withstand the waves with more confidence?
Yes, I will.
Because there’s one thing that I have learned for sure through this monthly war.
Every month, I win.
I don’t give up. I don’t give in.
I don’t get knocked over and pulled out to sea.
The tide recedes and I breathe again.
And I get ready for the next round.
The next month of whispers from the unwanted voice.
No, I can’t stop it, but I can be ready for it.
Because I’ve learned it may be taunting